Watching the 2026 Winter Olympics in Milan and the Not the Sun team has some suggestions. We have ideas of games to add. We will highlight some of the changes we would like to see and games that just need to be deleted.
The double (decker) luge just needs to stop. First of all, no sport should have two guys stacked on top of each other. They are looking up so they have no idea what is happening on the track. This seems like a tremendously impractical form of transport. If I was at the top of an ice slide the last option that I can possibly think of to descend the ice slide is on a sled facing up with another guy above or below me. If the goal of the winter olympics was to find the least appealing sport possible they might just have succeeded.
Speaking of ice slides there is the luge, double luge, skeleton, and probably other ways these athletes compete to get down the ice slide the fastest. However, there is no even where someone simply slides down the ice slide. I have been to Buccaneer Bay and trained for this event. This would be a wonderful addition to the olympics and a very approachable event. Kids on playgrounds all over the world would be imagining themselves participating in the event.
We need to start a new cold war with France. The ice skating judge from France’s suspiciously low score gave the French figure skating pair the gold over the US team. This was behavior that happened during the cold war when eastern block judges lower the scores of US athletes in an attempt to cost US athletes medals. I am calling on President Donald Trump to set up nuclear missiles on France’s border aimed at France. France wants to play the evil empire we should play along.
These changes would reinvigorate the winter olympics. Who could resist tuning in for the ice slide where six year old Johnny Jones is expected to take the gold.
